Yesterday didn’t feel good. It could have easily developed into a free-for-all food fest.
I had an ‘off’ day and I’m not sure why. My food was off and a struggle all day. I was constantly pre-occupied with thoughts of eating. I was fighting it all day. It was like a flash-back – how food and eating used to dominate my life.
I also blew off my exercise for the day – without really any clear cut reason other than I simply could not motivate myself to do it. How strange since just a week ago – I couldn’t wait to start working out again and yet yesterday – I couldn’t get myself moving.
Here’s what I ate (and I’m not looking for comment. I know it could have been so much worse – as it could have been better. I just need to write it down for myself.)
7AM: 1/2c oatmeal, apple, 1oz raw walnuts, 1tsp brown sugar
9AM: cappuccino, 1 slice banana bread (cafe’)
10:30AM: cappuccino (cafe’)
1PM: lettuce & tomato salad, stir fry (1T EVOO, 1T balsamic vinegar, broccolini, red onion, 4oz beef fillet)
3PM: cold chicken thigh (about 2-3 oz size)
4PM: cold chicken leg (about 2 oz size)
5PM: 10 unsalted cashews, apple
5:30PM: 10 more unsalted cashews
7PM: 2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices bread, 1T butter
Even looking at this – it’s wasn’t a horrible day of eating – it’s just that it occupied my head ALL FRICKIN’ DAY LONG! No matter what I did…..quilting, reading, meditating, watching TV, surfing the net…..I just couldn’t stop the thoughts of ‘what can I eat now?’. Very distracting. I certainly gave into the addictive desire that Gillian Riley talks about. I certainly didn’t train any new non-addictive wave patterns in my brain matter yesterday. I reverted to type and fed the addictive desire all afternoon.
So far – today has been a better day – it’s early though.