Yesterday didn’t feel good

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Yesterday didn’t feel good.  It could have easily developed into a free-for-all food fest.

I had an ‘off’ day and I’m not sure why.  My food was off and a struggle all day.   I was constantly pre-occupied with thoughts of eating.  I was fighting it all day.  It was like a flash-back – how food and eating used to dominate my life.

I also blew off my exercise for the day – without really any clear cut reason other than I simply could not motivate myself to do it.  How strange since just a week ago – I couldn’t wait to start working out again and yet yesterday – I couldn’t get myself moving.

Here’s what I ate (and I’m not looking for comment.  I know it could have been so much worse – as it could have been better.   I just need to write it down for myself.)

7AM:  1/2c oatmeal, apple, 1oz raw walnuts, 1tsp brown sugar

9AM:  cappuccino, 1 slice banana bread (cafe’)

10:30AM:  cappuccino (cafe’)

1PM:  lettuce & tomato salad, stir fry (1T EVOO, 1T balsamic vinegar, broccolini, red onion, 4oz beef fillet)

3PM:  cold chicken thigh (about 2-3 oz size)

4PM:  cold chicken leg (about 2 oz size)

5PM:  10 unsalted cashews, apple

5:30PM:  10 more unsalted cashews

7PM:  2 scrambled eggs, 2 slices bread, 1T butter

Even looking at this – it’s wasn’t a horrible day of eating – it’s just that it occupied my head ALL FRICKIN’ DAY LONG!  No matter what I did…..quilting, reading, meditating, watching TV, surfing the net…..I just couldn’t stop the thoughts of ‘what can I eat now?’.  Very distracting.  I certainly gave into the addictive desire that Gillian Riley talks about.  I certainly didn’t train any new non-addictive wave patterns in my brain matter yesterday.  I reverted to type and fed the addictive desire all afternoon.

So far – today has been a better day – it’s early though.

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This entry was posted in daily update, fall down, food choices, head games, random thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

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